Yesterday when I arrived at the Dermatologist's office, it was full; and by full I mean 9 people in every chair in the waiting room. The only empty seat was in between 2 older women at the far end of the waiting room. My social anxiety told me to stall at the counter until someone was called back so I could have their seat, hoping it would be one of the seats that weren't practically on top of someone else. But that didn't happen. I turned to walk away from the window and headed toward the only open seat. I was greeted with smiles from both women and sat down between them. Immediately they both commented on their wait times and it was a conversation that instantly shook me of my social anxiety. The lady on my right was called in rather quickly, so it was just the two of us left. Her name was Gail and she reminded me of my grandma. She was so sweet. We talked about her appointment, and how bad the wait times are on certain days. She had to be somewhere at noon and was very worried about making it on time. She was searching for her list of emergency numbers so she could reach the person, and when she found it, I noticed her handwriting was very similar to my grandmother's. Then she pulled a napkin out of her purse that contained a mini chocolate hostess donut. As she unwrapped it she said: "If I had another, I'd offer it to you." I told her it was perfectly fine, and she proceeded to take small pieces off of her donut and eat them discretely. At this point, I could have sworn this woman was my grandma; the way she talked, her actions, and even some of her looks; her voice...everything about her reminded me of my grandma. At that moment, I honestly didn't want either of us to get called back. I truly miss my grandparents; I haven't had any of grandparents around for quite some time and now all of a sudden it was like turning back time. We talked briefly about my kids and our busy life. There was a water cooler in the corner of the waiting room, and she asked me how it worked; I tried explaining it but she didn't understand, so I offered to get her water. She declined, but I proceeded to get her some anyway. She was grateful. She quietly sipped her water and I was craving more conversation with her.
And then it happened. Out of nowhere, she opened her purse; she was rustling around searching for something, and when her frail hand emerged, she was holding a container of Tic Tacs; she offered me some and I obliged. I put a couple in my mouth and briefly held the rest tightly in my hand. My grandmother always had Tic Tacs in her purse. Always. Along with those little butter toffee candies. I kept thinking to myself, this is a sign. Inside, my heart was aching. I was trying to ignore the ache, as well as the tears that were threatening to roll down my face at any second. I looked around to realize that the waiting room was now less than half empty and I had been oblivious to anyone being called back. I was concentrating only on her and our conversation. She started to fidget, and was looking at her watch more often; she was very nervous about missing her other appointment. And then her name was called, and my heart sank. I knew there was no chance I'd ever see her again; but as she got up, she said to me "it was so nice talking with you", and I could barely whisper the words "yes, it was." And then she disappeared through the doors with the nurse behind her. I was heartbroken. I had only known her for 30 minutes, but it was 30 minutes I so desperately needed at the time. I didn't know it until after she was gone. Until after I left and headed back to work. I couldn't get that conversation out of my head. I couldn't shake the thought of all the similarities between her and my grandmother. I wanted to write about it, but couldn't find the words. I was grateful, but at the same time, I was sad.
I doubt I'll ever see this woman again. It would be a miracle if I did. I can only hope and pray that her family loves and cherishes her as much as I did during that short time. It feels a little weird saying that about someone I only knew for 30 minutes, but it was 30 minutes I wouldn't change for anything in the world. If you are my age and are blessed to have grandparents alive, cherish it. In fact, it doesn't matter how old you are. Cherish your grandparents; cherish your parents. Spend as much time with them as you possibly can, because you never know how much longer you'll have with them.
